


If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

by theatreheathen



Category: Frostiron - Fandom, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark - Fandom, Tony Stark and Loki
Genre: Feels, Hurt Tony Stark, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki and Tony have a kid, Loki is a housewife, Loki's Kids, M/M, Pain, Poor Loki, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony as a husband, frostyfic, frostystuff - Freeform, grab tissues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatreheathen/pseuds/theatreheathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend asked for painful af Tony/Loki, frosty stuffs. Sent it to them, they hated me for it, so here you go! Here's the story. Enjoy, and I guess from her reaction, grab tissues?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AriannaLaufeyson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriannaLaufeyson/gifts).



Give and take. Give and take. That, is how relationships work. One gives and the other takes, a constant tug and pull. A relationship was like a beautiful rhythm between two people. Loki would give anything to hear what his and Tony’s sounded like. If there were a metaphorical orchestra that could just play, and the sound they produced would be Tony and Loki, it would be beautiful. It of course took a few years to finesse, but the two managed to become one of those couples everyone  _ swore _ was an old married couple. Yet, Tony and Loki were not married. They had been boyfriends for years now. Committed, to one another, oh, and their son. 

Tapping his foot impatiently on the pavement Henry’s bus was always a few minutes late, but Loki of course always showed up early, just in case. According to the schedule they’d mailed out, the bus was three minutes behind. Again, it usually was, but Loki always got so excited to pick up their son. As Loki lowered his wrist, from having checked the time he spotted the yellow bus turning the corner. It pulled up and after the doors pushed open, Loki watched his son climb down the stairs and run up to him on the sidewalk. 

“Daddy!” He squealed. 

Glancing up, Loki gave a wave at the bus driver, something he did everyday. Like always, the driver just gave Loki a dirty look, and pulled the bus away. He shook it off, and reached for his son’s backpack, pushing it onto his arm. Then, giving a smile, he took his son’s hand and they began to walk home. 

“I’m so happy to have my little guy back. So, how was school today?” 

“Good.” The little boy nodded. 

This immediately made Loki’s brow perk up. “Just good?” 

“Yeah, good.” The little boy shrugged. 

“I don’t think that’s possible. You love school, why wasn’t it a good day?”

As they continued to walk down the street, Loki’s head tilted as he waited for the boy to be honest with him. It was very uncharacteristic of Henry to not tell the truth. Loki and Tony had raised him to be very honest and that he could come to either one of them if he needed to talk. 

“Well...well Garrett was picking on me today.” The little boy had been playing with his hands. “We were out at on the playground and he said I couldn’t play with him and the others ‘cause I had two daddies, and that I was weird for that.”  

As his son began to explain, Loki had prepared himself to explain that he’d have to stand up to bullies, but when he began to mention him and Tony, Loki’s heart dropped. His feet stopped and the sudden halt caused a tug on Henry's hand. The little boy stopped at the side of his father and glanced up. Loki quickly scooped up his son into his arm, resting him on his hip. 

“Henry, if anyone gives you grief about me and daddy, I don’t want you to listen to them. If they keep harassing you, I want you to go straight to the teacher, okay?”

Henry nodded slowly. “Okay daddy.” 

“Good,” Loki smiled and kissed his son's forehead. “How does ice cream sound?” 

He watched as his son's face lit up and just chuckled as they continued along to their house. When they reached the end of the driveway, Loki set down his son and smiled. 

“Go on in and grab a bowl and spoon and I’ll be in to scoop the ice cream in just a minute.” 

Watching as his son nodded and hurried off to the house. After making sure his son was in the front door, Loki wondered over to the mailbox and pulled it open to fetch the mail. Making his way up the driveway, he flipped through the small stack of various envelopes and then making his way into the house. After disregarding the envelopes on a spare table, setting Henry’s backpack on a chair, he joined his son in the kitchen. Their usual routine was that Loki would ask Henry about his day, then as soon as they got home, he was to start on his homework. However, with his sons news, he would be treated to a bowl of ice cream, before having to finish any school work. Giving the boy a scoopful and a few sprinkles upon request, he pecked the top of his son's head and made a mental note to talk to Tony when he got home tonight. Turning from the window he found himself staring out, he looked at his son. 

“What do you want for dinner sweetheart?” 

Henry shrugged his shoulders as he put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. 

“Okay.” Loki chuckled. “How about spaghetti? It’s yours and daddy favorite.” 

“Mmmm.” Henry nodded, enjoying his sugary treat. 

Loki’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “Good, spaghetti it is.” 

Hours later, Henry was happily watching TV, homework finished  and Loki was on his way to finishing up the spaghetti. Having placed the tray of garlic bread into the oven, Loki stood and glanced out the front window looking for any sign of Tony’s car. His brow furrowed as he didn’t see anything. It wasn’t a complete oddity that Tony would be late, with his job it was hard for him to get away at the same time everyday, not to mention that cell phones usually weren’t really protocol in parts of S.H.E.L.D. Pushing away the thought, Loki stirred the pot of red sauce and called for Henry to set the table. 

“Looks like it’ll just be the two of us tonight, but I think if we make daddy a plate for later, it’ll make him happy to come home to after work.” 

“Okay daddy.” 

The little boys feet were heard padding around behind Loki and he sighed, moving on to combining the sauce and ingredients. Stirring the pasta, he turned to see two plates on the table and ladled out pasta on both plates. Turning, he placed more on the extra plate his son left out. Then he switched out the pot for an oven mitt and fished out the garlic bread. Placing two pieces on tony’s plate, he turned around and placed a piece on his and Henry’s plate. As Henry walked past to place silverware on the table, Loki grabbed glasses to fill. Then the two were quickly seated and enjoying their food. He chuckled as his son played with his pasta, sucking it in between his lips.    

Loki found himself sitting alone at the dining room table, cup of tea, but no Tony. In the hours that grew after putting Henry to bed, Loki wasn’t sure how many times he had glanced at the clock. Now as the hour grew later, late enough that he knew even Tony hadn’t tempted to come home at, Loki’s nerves were through the roof. Was he? No, there was no way he was cheating. And he couldn't… No, he’d never go out to drink. Not with all he’d done to stop it. Biting hard into his lip, Loki glanced at the phone, and as if by magic it rang. It stunned Loki and after a moment to absorb the fact it rang, he hopped up after the first ring. He hoped it wouldn’t cause Henry to stir but immediately but the phone to his ear. 

“Tony!” Loki rushed.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry Mr. Laufeyson, I’m a nurse down at LA medical. We have here listed that you’re his first contact if anything were to happen to him. We want to inform you that’d you should get here soon. We caution you to drive safely, we don’t need you getting hurt.”

Loki had already begun to zone her out. Then as a pause began, he then heard his last name being called.

“S, sorry. I, I thought I heard my son getting up. I, LA medical you said? I’ll be there soon, thank you.”

Without another word, Loki hung up the phone and spaced out for a moment.

 

_ Tony was in trouble. _

 

_ Tony was hurt? _

 

_ Why wouldn’t they tell him what was wrong? _

_ They didn’t say it was serious, maybe he just got shot?  _

 

_ Oh god, he got shot.  _

 

The thoughts tormented Loki’s brain as he left the house and drove to the hospital. It was only a twenty minute drive, but it felt like it might as well have been a two hour drive. Half way, stuck at a stop light, it dawned on Loki that he should call his neighbor, make sure they know that Henry was home alone. How had he forgotten to make sure his own son was okay? He was blowing this all out of proportion. Tony was fine. He was going to be  _ fine. _ Finally arriving at the hospital, Loki hadn’t noticed how tightly his hands had been grasping the wheel until he let go. His knuckles were white for a moment and then returned to normal color. Then he watched as they began to shake. Then the lump in his throat began to form as he tried to swallow, try to breath normally. Now was not the time for this. He pushed himself from the car and rushed inside to the nearest nurses station. 

He was frantic with his questions, and they were immediate to his plea. They lead him through big doors and then down a million hallways, probably not as many as it felt but, any and all hours that passed seemed like decades to Loki until he’d see Tony’s face. It might as well have been a maze. As they walked the halls the nurses were telling him the full story, but he did just what he had done when on the phone. He was there, but he wasn’t present. He gathered that it was in fact serious, life threatening and they couldn’t pinpoint an estimate of time he had left. If Loki had ever believed in any religion or deity, he was now on his hands and knees  _ begging,  _ anything that would listen, that Tony could heal. But even the mage himself couldn’t bring the dead back to life. He gulped as they finally turned into Tony’s steril room. He immediately was attached to Tony’s hand. 

“Tony, Tony?”  Loki had to control his voice from screaming or even crying. He had to remain calm. 

Loki could tell that his lover was straining to speak, but he seemed to try to convey that he was his normal self. 

“Loki, I’m sorry I missed dinner.” 

With a laugh, Loki broke down. “Oh, shut up.” His laugh caused tears to stream down his cheeks and he let his head drop on top of his and Tony’s intertwined hands. 

The two were never good at things like this. At talking about hard things. Like, when they had begun dating. It took them two years just to be on the same page that they liked one another. As well, it was like pulling teeth when it came time to announce themselves publicly. The reason they never were married was due to them just, never sitting down to talk about things. It was a miracle they’d adopted Henry. Except, Henry just seemed to make sense. It was what the two were missing. Something to center all their life around and pour their overwhelming love into. 

“W, where’s Henry?” Tony grunted, and squeezed Loki’s hand, no doubt having a surge of pain.

Loki was capable of raising his head and his lip quivered. Feeling incredulously guilty. If he’d known how dire things actually were, he’d have woken their son in a heartbeat. 

“He, I, I put him to bed Tony…” He sniffed. “If, I’d known-”

“No, no. Don’t say that.” Tony shook his head, his voice hoarse. “He’ll see me again, I’ll make sure of it.” 

“...Tony.”  Loki whispered. The man was so damn stubborn. 

“I don’t want to hear it.” The man gave his best attempt at a shrug. “I’ll be out of here in no time, and when I am, you know what we’ll do?” 

Loki only had the strength to shake his head, and listen to his lover. 

 

“We’ll sell the house, it’s so ridiculously small, and with our family growing, we’ll need more space.” His voice slowly faded and his eyes shut for a moment. 

 

Loki’s gut spasmed, thinking it was the end,  _ knowing _ it was a bad sign. Yet, he was patient, gave Tony’s hand a slight squeeze. 

“W...we’ll get a bigger house, for, for all the other children we’ll adopt.” His eyes fluttered open a bit and were constant on Loki’s. “I know how much you would love having a little girl, I know I’d love a little girl.” 

Tony’s words made more tears gush from Loki’s eyes. He squeezed Tony’s hand once more and tried to pull his eyes away, not wanting Tony to worry about how upset he was. Loki took a moment, breathing deeply between his silent sobs, to try and calm himself down. After wiping at his eyes, Loki leaned over and pecked his bruised and cut lip. Setting back, a thought struck Loki and his head perked up. 

“Sweetie, can you push the call button?” 

“For the nurse?” 

Loki nodded his head, giving a smile. “Yes, please, we’re going to need their help.” 

“O, okay?” Tony was confused but was able to move his hand enough to press the red button. 

Loki squeezed and kiss the top of Tony’s hand and then began to wipe away the tears, and try to regain his composure. He was caught wiping at his eyes as the nurse came in. 

“Mr. Stark? You needed something?” She hurried into the room, to his side and turned off his light. 

“Actually, it was me…” Loki stood and motioned for her. “Is there a Chaplin here?” 

“Patients only get anointed if they-”

“No, I want him to marry us.” 

Her eyes crinkled with a smile. “Oh!” She nodded. “Of, of course, let me go find him, maybe I can catch him before he leaves…” she trailed as she hurried from the room. 

Turning on his heel he saw his lover, despite all the horror around him, with a shitfaced grin on his lips. “Keeping secrets doesn't make friends.” His voice was a deeper level of raspy, and Loki tried to pretend he hadn't noticed. 

“You'll figure it out.” He winked. “I'll be right back.” 

As much as Loki didn't want to step no more than five feet from Tony's bedside, he stepped into the hall and looked at the vagrants that filled it. He pursed it lips, so maybe this wouldn't be as easy. Until his head turned to look at the vacant room next door, where the call light lit up from outside. Loki could hear a couple bickering and he couldn't have been more thrilled. He tapped lightly on the door, hoping they wouldn't be upset it was him and not a nurse. The wife came to the small crack in the door. 

“Oh, good I was hoping a nurse didn't hurry that much to deal with this stubborn mule.” 

She had tall hair, Loki could smell the hairspray, and a thick southern accent. He politely chuckled. 

“Apologies. I just heard their was a married couple in here. Me and my...fiancé are next door and we'd love to get married, like right now. We just don't have rings, and we're wondering if you'd land us yours? What better luck for a successful marriage than using a pair of rings from a couple, who, seems to still be going strong.” He rushed through the explanation, coming up with half of it on the spot. 

She put her hand on her chest and nodded quickly. “Oh Harold, we've gotta help these love birds.” Nodding she smiled. “One sec darlin’,” She quickly left and then returned, slipping her ring off she held out her hand with two silver bands. “Good luck dear.” 

“Thank you, you're welcome to be our witnesses.” 

“Ah, I'm too busy with him, but thanks hun’, make sure y'all give the rings back before he's outta here, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Loki nodded. “Thank you, again.” 

As he started back to Tony's room he watched a nurse hustle past him into their room, no doubt helping with the call light. Stepping in the room, his eyes snapped to Tony and noticed his eyes were still open. He breathed. Then the nurse was suddenly behind him in the door, Chaplin in her grasp. She beamed at him, and Loki turned to Tony with the same smile. 

“Tony, honey…” Loki began, placing a hand over Tony’s. “How’d you like to marry me?”

Tony's eyes seemed to flutter about before he realized where his voice was coming from. Then he gave his best smile. “I...I'd be so happy.” 

“Awwww…” 

Loki almost jumped at the sound of sudden audience behind him. He turned and noticed the nurse grabbing other nurses and doctors from the hall. Of course on the night shift they probably didn't get so much excitement, like this at least. Loki chuckled, despite the tears threatening and his heart in his throat.

“Wonderful, witnesses!” The Chaplin cheered. “Ready?” He peered at Loki and Tony. 

Adjusting himself so, Tony wouldn't have to move and become uncomfortable, Loki stayed near the edge of the bed. The two held hands and listened to the Chaplain at the end, near Tony’s feet. 

Loki is prompted to say his vows first. His stomach spasmed once more, taking a moment to realize he might only have one shot at this. 

“Anthony…” He began, fighting for control over the sound of his voice and his tears. “Anthony Edward Stark, I’ve always loved you, I will always love you. It didn't matter that we never married before, we knew, we knew we'd love each other forever. Always, onto infinity even, as long as you didn't make anything explode in your lab...” 

Some laughs were heard along with sniffles behind them. Though Loki could do a fair job of blocking them out. 

He sniffed and continued, knowing to be quick. “No matter if we're angry, sad, or anything in between, we always made it back to one another. And, and we still are, we’re going to live in a beautiful house, like you said, grow old with our thousands of grandkids. Okay?” 

Loki nodded to Tony and watched his head move a few inches, then he looked to the priest with almost begging eyes to hurry Tony along, afraid they wouldn't get to the end. 

Ignoring the few more sniffs from the peanut gallery, Tony mustered his best voice. “Loki, my sweet, delicate Loki.” He coughed a bit, and the whole room drew a breath. Pausing, Tony squeezed Loki’s hand and then continued. “I promise to love you forever and always. Even...even…” Another round of coughs and Loki sensed the group of nurses and doctors had stepped closer. “Even if I'm not there I'll always…” The heart monitor began to slow. “Always…” His eyes rolled and fluttered. “I'll always love you, forever.” As the beeps came to a crawl, and just as shallow as the brunettes voice. Tony's chest gave and he breathed. “I do.” 

Loki placed his hand over his mouth as a crippling wave of pain and emotions crashed over him, and the heart monitor rang a solid note. Before the nurses lead him away, Loki pushed the ring fully onto his own finger, and pecked Tony's lips softly, watching as his tears rolled down the males bruised cheek. At the feeling of hand on his shoulder, leading him away, the doctors began to swarm his lover's body. As much as he knew they had to still take care of him, it wasn’t fair that Loki had to be so far from his lover already.  His feet caught and he just crumpled to the floor in the back corner. The nurse tried to help, but simply sat next to him, and rubbed circles into his back. He held his knees tight to his chest, fully believing if he let go he'd fall apart completely.

 

* * *

 

Taking. Loki only ever took in relationships. Why had he been so damn selfish? He based this on the fact that he took so much from Anthony that, he simply killed the man. It was the universe delivering a big dose of karma. Take, take and take. That's okay, the grand scheme didn't include Loki living happily with the love of his life. Oh and his son. It took him, after Loki took to the bottom of liquor and pill bottles. It took anything that resembled any form of happiness. Happiness was now a mask Loki wore.

Standing in front of the nearly clouded mirror, Loki examined the being in the reflection. 

 

_ Who was he? What had he become? Was he always this thin? Where did he get those bruises, burns...scars? _

 

Loki knew very well what he'd become. A profession, he never thought he’d be demoted to. But drugs had a wonderful way of making the things in Loki's world blurred at the edges. Also, getting beaten, abused, used, took a toll on one's psyche. Holding himself at the elbow, his sunken eyes continued to follow the map of bruises and scars he'd sustained in the past few years over his body. Waking up this morning, Loki had prepared himself to be sold, but this had been his most extreme client. Feeling like there were imaginary bugs crawling over him suddenly, he just wanted the feeling of that monster's hands off of his body. It was bad enough to have bruises in the shape of them stained on his skin. He needed to be clean, if only for a moment. Showering did two things for Loki. Let him sanitize his body from the clients he met every day, and to keep him from reality for a moment. 

Speaking of reality. Loki wasn't quite sure if the heat from the shower water was causing the mirror to become so blurred, or...or if the syringe his last john had injected into his arm had caused this. It wasn't like the regular high he had, this one...this one was different. 

“ _ Dammit Loufey! You better hurry the _ fuck _ up!”  _

Loki’s thin frame jumped nearly out of his skin at the loud thumping at the door. Leaning into the sink counter his eyes shut tight, he fought back the rush of emotion. No, no. Tears earned more bruises, more pain. 

“I'm, I'm cleaning up after that fucking pig, dammit. I'll be out soon!” He called back, fighting the urge to use more profanities. 

_ He  _ must have been in a good mood, because Loki didn't hear much more through the door, than bragging about how much Loki had earned them by letting that horrible man use him. He shuddered as he recalled the moment he knew it wouldn't be like his regular visits. 

Loki's time, was worth a couple of twenties. His body? A couple of hundreds. A person's way with him and his rights to consent? A couple grand, and an extra fee if you left any marks or drugs were used. It was a big deal. So what if Loki might not be able to keep down his meals for the next few days? As he stood, pushed himself up, wiping at his burning eyes he looked up in the mirror and this time, was positive it was the drugs. 

“ _ Anthony.” _ Loki was breathless. 

It took a lot now a days to get the man flustered, but his cheeks burned with heat. Oh how humiliated he felt that Tony had to see him like this. The ghost like, chocolate eyes burned into him. Tony and him had gotten into a week long fight, about Loki becoming a housewife and not getting his own job. Housewife to drug whore. Loki had the monopoly on letting Tony down. The smokey, translucent form of what Loki had no doubt was Tony nodded slowly. Loki saw the man behind him, but didn't dare turn, in fear he'd burst this drug induced trip.

His lip quivered. “It's been so long I-"

Tony simply shook his head, Loki didn't see a mouth move on the whispy billionaire but, could hear his voice clear as day. 

 

_ “No need.” _

  
  


“ _ Loufey, who the _ fuck  _ are you talking to in there?”  _

The banging caused Loki to jump and snap his head at the locked door. It was only a sleazy motel bathroom, there was no doubt in Loki that  _ he  _ wouldn't be able to break it down. Or worse…

Hearing the  sound of a gun barrel clicking, made Loki panic and turned back to the mirror, figuring the illusion was shattered, but there he was, still floating behind him, yet now he was more present, less spirit like. He watched as Tony's arms came up and began to snake them around Loki's chest. The male let out a gasp in fear of actually being able to feel the touch. That was just memory, right? He suddenly grew tired, and his eyes closed at the sudden brightness. 

Loki awoke, having felt like he had been standing in shallow water, but then realized, he was actually damp all over. In fact he wasn't himself at all, because he was watching himself, as if he was the ceiling and he was watching what was happening below. He, or his body was laying on the crappy motel bathroom floor, water was still flowing and before he could question it being there, the answer was already in his head.  _ The tub overflowed.  _ Only just absorbing the answer, Loki watched as  _ He  _ and his stupid thug friends finally got through the door and stumbled upon Loki, or well, his body. Was he- but before the question could register, he had his answer; He was dead,  _ overdose _ . 

Then the rest flashed quickly, the drug dealing men run, a housekeeper stumbles upon the bathroom, cops, a corner takes Loki out and just like before, he's not aware of how he knows, but he's assured that Henry was contacted to identify the body. Then there's a flash of Tony, he's smiling, waving.    
  


**Then all is black.**


End file.
